What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
How external is "for external use only"?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
