Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
