I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You've changed since you got that strap on
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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