They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
