then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
