happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
