We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
