alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
