lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
