Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
