I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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