Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
