porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
