Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
