I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
