nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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