this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
