I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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