omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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