His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
