are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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