do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
