HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
