I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
