During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
