i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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