For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
