Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize