Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize