My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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