turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
