there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
