i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
