At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
