The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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