RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Of course I have a pirate flag
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
