I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
