just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
As shirtless as possible
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
