he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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