i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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