I didn't shave. On purpose
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
