Don't make out with my wife yet
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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