Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
