I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
