I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
