we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
did you just send me my own nude
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
