so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
