I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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