i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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