why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
