Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You dont lie about slip and slides
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
