Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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