chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
