Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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