it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
