She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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