Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
