I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
