Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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