i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
