this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
