I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
