i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
