yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
