Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
